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Love stories where the woman is older. Psychology

Couples where women are older than their chosen ones are not uncommon today. Zdorovye conducted an investigation into how long such relationships last and how to maintain them.

Progress is clear

The opinion that there were no such marriages before does not reflect the true state of affairs. History, including world history, has known more than one such couple. However, if we look at the statistics, the dynamics, especially in recent years, are obvious. If in 1963 in only 15% of married couples the woman was older than the man, by now this figure has increased. Sociologists say that now in every 6th couple a woman is older than her chosen one.

How long?

According to psychologists, marriages in which the wife is older than the husband have every chance of longevity and stability. If you want to live happily ever after, do not pay attention to others, because it is public opinion, according to psychologists, that is often the reason for the collapse of such unions. Relatives can also play a fatal role in relationships, both on the part of the woman (telling horror stories about her husband Alphonse) and on the part of the man (complaining that the “old woman” has confused / bewitched / powdered the brains of the “poor boy”). If you truly love each other, never forget that your relationship is your own business. Do not let anyone climb into them, in love there is no place for superfluous people. And remember: the less you will wash dirty linen in public, the happier and more carefree your life will be.

Your happiness can be destroyed not only by third parties, but also by yourself. A woman in such a relationship should once and for all forget about unreasonable fears, stupid complexes and inappropriate jealousy. Only a wise, self-confident wife who loves herself and her husband is able to save the marriage. Agree, all these rules work in marriages where the man is older.

What does it give her?

According to psychologists, women whose husbands are younger than them have increased self-esteem, regardless of whether they themselves recognize this fact or not. In addition, such women are more careful about their appearance, have diverse interests and have an increased love of life, and their sex life is much more diverse and richer than that of their girlfriends who have tied the knot with older men. However, all the same psychologists advise not to relax and, over the years, only intensify work on yourself and your relationships so that the beloved man does not cool off and the marriage does not crack.

Personal experience

Nadezhda (29 years old) and Murat (22 years old)

A novel with a sequel

We met in Turkey, where I went on another vacation. Literally on the second or third day of rest, I met the handsome Murat on the beach. He "managed" aquabikes and other water activities. Relations began with lightning speed. Hot sun, hot sand, hot southern man - what else do you need? And, to be honest, we did not think about continuing, we just enjoyed each other. I liked that he was younger. Some kind of crazy energy, gaiety, romance and his concern for me turned my head.

Two weeks went by way too fast. He did not want to let me go, and I flew away with the thought that it was just a holiday romance and there would be no continuation. But upon returning home, I did not stop thinking about Murat. I was drawn to him like a magnet. After 10 days, I packed my things and returned to where we were so happy. From that moment we began to live together. Then he went to serve in the army, and when I returned to Russia, I got a job as a teacher. But we didn't stop talking, we kept in touch. From time to time he cried how hard it was for him, and I, like a mother, comforted and supported him: “Well, be patient, well, just a little more, there are so many days left ...” Every time he was given a day off, I came up with a bunch of reasons to skip work and flew to him in Turkey. During another such meeting, he presented me with an engagement ring. According to Turkish customs, a girl should also give a ring to her chosen one. I gladly did it. We got engaged, and after he served, we got married. The wedding was played in Moscow, and a few months later our daughter was born.

1 Emmanuel Macron (40 years old) and Brigitte Macron (64 years old)

The difference is 24 years.

Of course, this French couple falls short of the age difference between Pugacheva and Galkin, but it causes no less talk. The love story of the current president of France and his wife is a ready-made script for a Hollywood movie. They met when Macron was only 15 years old. Brigitte, 39, taught him literature at a lyceum in the small town of Amiens. The schoolboy immediately fell in love with his teacher, he was not even embarrassed by the fact that the lady was married. What is she? She also liked the judicious and intelligent young man beyond his years. To hush up the brewing scandal, Emmanuel's father sent his son to study at an elite metropolitan gymnasium. But the distance of love is not a hindrance: the couple corresponded for a long time, and a few years later Brigitte divorced and came to her lover in Paris. Since then, they have always been there, and it is to his wife, as Macron admits, that he owes his success in the political field. By the way, Brigitte has three children from her first marriage and already 7 grandchildren, with whom the head of state is happy to tinker.

2 Lera Kudryavtseva (46 years old) and Igor Makarov (30 years old)

The difference is 16 years.

The well-known TV presenter hid her relationship with hockey player Igor Makarov for a long time. Still, after all, the new lover turned out to be only three years older than Kudryavtseva's son. But the difference in the age of love is not a hindrance. The lovers got married and are approaching a wooden wedding (five-year anniversary).

3 Megan Mark (36) and Prince Harry (33)

The age difference is 3 years.

Harry's fiancée is indeed older than him. But usually royal people marry girls younger, well, or at least the same age, as Prince William did (although Kate is still six months older than him). But Harry, as you know, is not exactly a typical prince. A rebel and joker, he very often went against public opinion and committed outrageous acts that shocked his crowned grandmother, Elizabeth II. At the same time, Markle's age is not the biggest problem. After all, she is an American, a mulatto, and she also managed to be married. But all these shortcomings do not bother Harry a little. And most of Her Majesty's subjects, too. Some even say that only such a girl "with experience" can cope with a reckless prince.

4 Hugh Jackman (49) and Deborra-Lee Furness (62)

The difference is 13 years.

The then-novice actor Jackman met his wife on the set of the Australian TV series Correlli. He played a criminal, and Deborra - a prison psychologist. In a word, the story is not at all romantic, but it ended well. Two weeks after the couple started dating, the actor realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this woman. True, he decided to make an offer to his beloved only after four months. After 22 years of family life, the couple are still happy, Hugh became a superstar, Deborra takes care of the house, children (the couple adopted a boy and a girl), and when there is free time, she starred in TV shows.

5 Yana Rudkovskaya (43 years old) and Evgeni Plushenko (35 years old)

The difference is 8 years.

It would seem that a famous producer and an Olympic champion in figure skating must live in completely different worlds. But fate decreed otherwise. When Rudkovskaya's ward, singer Dima Bilan, was preparing a number for Eurovision 2008, she got the idea to invite Plushenko to take part in the performance. The number turned out to be spectacular, Bilan won the competition, and Yana and Evgeny found their happiness. In January 2013, their son Alexander was born, who was jokingly nicknamed Gnome Gnomych.

6 Anna Netrebko (46 years old) and Yusif Eyvazov (40 years old)

The difference is 6 years.

Our opera star met the Azerbaijani tenor in 2014 in Rome, where both of them sang in the production of Manon Lescaut. Relationships quickly developed from official to romantic. And the very next year, the couple played a magnificent wedding, to which the entire Russian beau monde was invited. For both, this is the first marriage, however, Netrebko has a son, Thiago Arua. Yusif became very friends with the boy, and now on Instagram you can watch touching family photos of opera celebrities.

7 Eva Mendes (43) & Ryan Gosling (37)

The difference is 6 years.

As is often the case, the star couple took their relationship from the silver screen to real life. In 2011, they starred in the drama A Place in the Sun, after which they started dating. And although the actors are not scheduled, they are quite happy with this state of affairs. They have been living together for almost seven years and have two daughters. Eva, known for her role in the film "Removal Rules: The Hitch Method", is still completely devoted to her family and is not thinking about returning to the cinema. But her husband, twice an Oscar nominee, is actively filming. His latest work is the continuation of the legendary fantasy action movie Blade Runner. And ahead is the role of the first man to walk on the moon - astronaut Neil Armstrong.

8 Shakira (41) and Gerard Pique (31)

The difference is 10 years.

The singer and the famous Spanish football player playing in the Barcelona club were born on the same day, February 2, but only with a difference of 10 years. They met in 2010 before the World Cup in South Africa. Shakira was entrusted with the Mundial anthem, and Gerard participated in the filming of her video. At first, the couple hid their relationship, but the ubiquitous paparazzi still managed to catch them. I had to officially declare my love to the world. Now celebrities have two sons. True, in October everyone was excited by the news that Shakira and Pique broke up. Allegedly, the reason was the excessive jealousy of the football player, he even forbade his soulmate to appear in the video with men. But, fortunately, this rumor was not confirmed.

9 Aishwarya Rai (44) and Abhishek Bachchan (42)

The difference is 2 years.

The fact that the wife is older than her husband is not quite typical for conservative India. And if the spouse is also much more successful, then there is room for gossip. But one of the most beautiful women in the world (the Miss World crown was awarded to her in 1994) Aishwarya Rai was not embarrassed. Her chosen one was actor Abhishek Bachchan, a representative of one of the most respected families in Bollywood. His father is the legendary Amitabh Bachchan, famous in our country for his role in the film "Revenge and the Law." Interestingly, the love between Ash (as her fans call her) and Abhishek did not arise immediately. They starred in several films before "taking a closer look" at each other. Parents fully approved the choice of their son and accepted Aishwarya as their own. In 2011, an addition took place in the family of actors. Aishwarya Rai gave birth to a daughter named Aaradhya.

Recently, there are more and more unions in which a woman is much older than her companion. Someone looks at such a marriage with a smile, someone with sympathy, and someone is sure in advance that nothing good will come of such an “unequal” marriage. So is there a future for such relationships?

European sociologists noted that already at the beginning of our century, in every third couple going down the aisle, the bride was older than her chosen one. And in the US, a third of unmarried women date younger men. The reason for this is the current emancipation of women. Most often, a woman marries a man who is much younger, when she is not at all interested in the material side of the relationship. As a rule, such women have taken place in their careers, are provided with housing and a stable income. Therefore, support in the person of a wealthy spouse is not so important to them. It's no secret that a modern woman can feed and raise children on her own, without the help of a man. Therefore, the basic instinct is freed from social layers, and the fair sex is attracted to young and productive representatives of the stronger sex.

Myths about "unequal" marriage
The life of such a couple is under the scrutiny of others, and there are many who want to devote all their free time to discussing when this union will break up. Public opinion is much more loyal to married couples in which the husband is much older than his wife. Therefore, a woman who decides to link her fate with a young chosen one will have to go through a lot of prejudices and abandon stereotypes before she stops paying attention to the age difference. Let's try to deal with the myths about "unequal" marriage that society imposes and understand that they have nothing to do with reality.

MYTH FIRST. Such a marriage is obviously arranged.
If a man is a gigolo, it does not depend on age at all. Men of this type will not refuse to live at the expense of a woman until old age. And if a young chosen one does not have enough money to pay for dinner in an expensive restaurant, and he invites a woman to an ordinary inexpensive cafe, this does not make him a gigolo at all.

MYTH TWO. The woman will become for him "mommy and nanny."
With a husband of any age, a woman begins to play the role of a nanny and a housewife. In this case, most likely, everything will be just the opposite: a young man will try his best to prove that he is already an adult and knows a lot about everything.

MYTH THREE. Sooner or later he will go to a young girl.
A man can live in an ordinary marriage for twenty years, and then go to the same age as his daughter. And there are many examples from life. No one can guarantee a long-term marriage. Therefore, it is better to just live with your loved one without stupid prejudices.

MYTH FOUR. Marriage of peers is the most stable.
Statistics say the opposite: about 50% of marriages of the same age break up. The reason is the sexual incompatibility of the young couple. The young wife is not yet ready for her husband's sexual activity and does not accept it. Therefore, families where the husband is 10 or more years younger than his wife do not suffer from such problems.

Benefits of such a marriage
Sexologists and psychologists argue that such "unequal" marriages have many chances for stability and longevity. The fact is that in such a marriage, the age of the husband encourages the woman to once again monitor her appearance, besides, the libido of the young husband is at its best, which undoubtedly benefits both. On average, the peak of sexuality in women occurs by the age of 30-40, and the sexiest age of a man is 18-25 years. That is why often an adult woman who has risen to her feet prefers a younger partner. From a sexual point of view, this is the most equal marriage that satisfies the needs of both men and women. A sexually rich life is only beneficial for a woman at any age, and for older ladies, sex with a beloved young man will help them stay beautiful and healthy longer. And most importantly, in alliance with a mature woman, a man “ripens” himself faster, gaining confidence and worldly wisdom. Young men who continue to live in marriage with their more mature wife have demonstrated high professional and educational growth before sociologists, although in such families the wife's leadership often remains.

How to save a relationship
There are special requirements for the appearance of a woman. A young husband is a reason to constantly keep yourself in good shape, monitor your appearance. A woman must always be at her best in order to successfully compete with young girls, so she tries to keep her youth and presentability for as long as possible - after all, appearance is of great importance, no matter how strong love is. In no case should you put your partner in the position of a child, no matter how inexperienced he may be. You can not surround a man with overprotection. A man at any age feels the need for leadership, so it is important to encourage leadership qualities, and not infantilism.

If a woman begins to crush her partner with her authority, takes the reins of government into her own hands, then sooner or later a man will find a less demanding lover. Do not relax, because an "unequal" marriage is more likely to fall apart in the first three years of its existence. Look for the advantages of such a relationship in stable feelings, the absence of tantrums, accusations and suspicions. You should not be jealous of a partner just because he is younger, and be like twenty-year-old girls who are ready to make a scandal at the slightest pretext. We must remember that jealousy is the number one enemy of your relationship. And don't forget that age comes with an obligation to be wiser.

There is no need to tell a man about your fears, forget once and for all the phrase: "Here you grow up - and leave me." No need to make a toy out of a man. If an adult woman reduces the whole point of marriage only to the fact that she does not skimp on financial expenses and gifts for her young husband, and in return expects only sex, then the man will get tired of it sooner or later. Without trust, sincerity and understanding, no relationship will last long.

Examples of a happy "unequal" fight
Of course, happy "unequal" marriages exist! And there are many examples of that. Princess Elizaveta Petrovna was eighteen years older than her second husband. They lived happily twenty years in a secret marriage. Balzac and Laura de Berni, who was twenty-two years older, had been together for a long time. The Prophet Mohammed at the age of seventeen fell in love with the forty-year-old Khadija, his first wife, and loved her for many years, even when he had numerous younger wives. The popular singer Claudia Shulzhenko was twelve and a half years older than her husband Georgy Epifanov. He carried this love throughout his life.

In a word, if a woman is older than a man, then such a couple is doomed to a happy future and the severity of disagreements at the same time, like any other couple. In fact, you should not pay attention to age, because human years are just numbers. And age is judged by the state of the soul and lifestyle. Therefore, look for a person who will become a faithful and reliable support in life, who will please the soul and the eye, who will be able to share one life for two. And let your age difference be big or small, or maybe it just won't exist, because the most important thing is love. And as you know, all ages are submissive to love! Where there is this bright feeling and desire to be together, there will be no reason for quarrels and partings.

The tradition of marrying a girl to a man who is much older than her dates back several centuries.

It was then believed that a large age difference would indicate a long and strong marriage, and a woman, thanks to her older husband, would feel like behind a stone wall. But times are changing. Increasingly, you can meet a couple where not a man is older, but a woman.

What are the positive features of the union in which the girl is older?

The presence of a young man will certainly encourage a woman to take better care of herself., choose stylish clothes and shoes for yourself, do anti-aging procedures, give up bad habits, play sports. Any woman understands that a young man needs to match, otherwise he can easily be taken away. A man, in turn, will strive to look his best, because next to a beautiful girl he will need to look decent.

Paired with a more mature woman, it is easier for a man to realize himself in life, since his chosen one has more life experience, she is more serious and in many respects more perspicacious than him. The female sex begins to mature psychologically earlier than the male, because in order to continue the human race, nature endowed women with mental invulnerability and moral stability. Only next to a strong woman does a young man become truly courageous. A woman is able to give advice, warn her partner against mistakes and wrong steps due to her greater life experience. She will be able to warn the relationship from unnecessary scandals.

No matter how strange it may sound, a man is subconsciously tuned to a relationship with a more mature woman. Remember, from childhood, a man is brought up by women: mother, grandmothers, aunts, sisters; later they are nannies and kindergarten teachers and teachers at school. Therefore, it will be much easier for him to build relationships with an adult woman.

As a rule, only over the years does an understanding of their true destiny come to women. In their youth, many girls like to live in an atmosphere of idleness and entertainment, but with age they gravitate more and more towards family life. An older woman better monitors the cleanliness and aesthetic beauty of the home, she is more skilled in the culinary field and more responsible in the process of planning and raising children. Over the years, the girl becomes more feminine. She will be able to organize for the young man the much-needed comfort and coziness. Namely, because of the absence of the latter, young couples break up.

A couple where the girl is older expects the highest sexual compatibility. Sexologists have long noted that the peak of female sexuality occurs at about 27-30 years old, and male - at 21-23. His energy and ability to regenerate quickly match perfectly with her experience. Thus, both partners will be able to regularly receive maximum sexual satisfaction.

And at the end of this big topic, I would like to turn to couples where the partner is older:

1. Pay no attention to public opinion. When a man is younger than a woman - this is a common occurrence in our time. Do not think about how your friends and relatives will react. The main thing is that you love and are loved and it is good for you to be together.

2. Teach each other. The age difference is only to the benefit of both parties. You can give your young partner life experience, with you he will have more chances to achieve high results in his career. And he, in turn, will energize you and introduce you to new trends in the modern world that you cannot learn from a man of the older generation.

3. Don't be jealous of your young partner. Jealousy arises from self-doubt. When a man is younger than a woman, there is room for constant suspicion. However, he chose you, which means that he needs you and only you. But at the same time, do not give him complete freedom, go to various events together.

4. Feel the lightness of the relationship. If a man is younger, he is not inclined to reproach you, instruct and limit your actions. He has a simpler attitude towards life, so you will have more fun. In addition, you will feel more confident and perfect next to a young man.

5. Don't be afraid to build a serious relationship. According to statistics, 53% of marriages in which the husband and wife are the same age break up after 2-3 years. The average duration of marriages where the man is younger than the woman is 12-16 years. But many couples live together for 20 or 25 years.

6. Enjoy your sexual relationship. Youth and experience combined will bring you many pleasant moments.

Many unions in which the girl is older than the young man lead to marriage and long, happy family relationships. Cast aside all doubts and love your soul mate, even if she is much younger or older than you. Do not pay attention to other people's opinions, as this is your life, and you must live it the way you want it.

According to the traditions that have developed among almost all peoples of the world, at all times men preferred to marry young girls. And this has been happening for centuries.

Such a choice of a man was considered quite natural. After all, the spouse was considered as a breadwinner and a hunter. He had to support his family, and therefore he must already be an adult and an accomplished person. The young wife was assigned the role of a caring wife, giving birth to her husband's children and giving him rest from business.

Of course, such marriages were not always ideal. The fact that the man was older than the woman, you can see both pluses and minuses. However, times have changed. Today, it is increasingly possible to meet such marriages when a woman is older than a man by 10 years, or even more. And it doesn't come as much of a surprise to anyone. How strong are such alliances? What problems await couples of different ages? Let's try to understand this issue.

Number of marriages of different ages

What does statistics say about families where the wife is 10 years older than her husband? According to her data, the number of such marriages is steadily increasing. For example, in the capital of Russia, the city of Moscow, 60,000 new families are formed in just one year. Of these, almost 1 thousand are marriages in which the woman is older than the man by 10 years or more. The data of Moscow sociologists indicate that there is also a large number of so-called civil unions of different ages. There are five times more of them than those that are officially registered. Interestingly, the city of Philadelphia (USA) occupies the leading place in the world in terms of the number of marriages of different ages, where the partner is older than the man.

Nuances

What are the most common marital relationships with a woman 10 years older? In this case, not only age plays an important role. Of great importance for building relationships in the family are the psychological characteristics of each of the spouses. Not the last are the personal characteristics of partners, as well as their value system.

Experts are sure that tying your relationship only to age is not worth it. The fact that the wife is 10 years older matters only when it affects almost all areas of married life.

The strength of such a union to a large extent depends on the perception of age (both one's own and the partner's), as well as on the distribution of leadership roles in the family. A sense of mutual respect, as well as self-esteem of each of the spouses, also becomes important. And this, as a rule, depends on the level of culture that people have, on their life values and attitudes.

Reasons for developing relationships

Why do men seek marriages of different ages? The woman is older, and therefore more experienced. Many representatives of the stronger sex just like it.

Very often, brides turn out to be older than their suitors, if they have this Mature woman already knows exactly what she wants. It is distinguished by openness and life experience behind it. She does not hide her aspirations, and in this regard, a man is very interested in her in all respects. For him, such communication is also an excellent life school.

In addition, the fact that a man fell in love with a woman 10 years older may indicate his unpopularity among his peers. In such cases, such young people often develop comfortable and very reliable relationships only with mature ladies.

material side

If a woman is 10 years older than a man, then she, most likely, has already taken place professionally and has managed to achieve success by climbing the career ladder. A good job allows her to be financially independent and not need the financial support of her husband.

How is this issue considered in psychology? A woman 10 years older than a man, with her financial independence, will definitely act as a teacher. Her partner will get the role of the student. In other words, in such a relationship, desires unconscious by both partners will always be realized. One of them (namely a woman) will strive for leadership, and the second (man) - for submission. In cases where both partners have just such motives, their relationship will be quite comfortable.

Intimate side

It is known that sexual relations play an important role in any marriage, including those of different ages. What does psychology say about this side of the question? A woman older than a man by 10 years, with an ardent temperament, needs the attention of her partner. Her desire to have an active sex life is not always able to satisfy a peer. That is why, most often, on a subconscious level, such a woman starts looking for a young partner. At the same time, during intimate meetings, she is not at all a passive participant in them. Most often, such ladies act as an equal partner or even a leader.

Maternal instinct

How else can you explain the emergence of a relationship when a woman in a couple is 10 years older? The reason for this may be hypertrophied maternal instinct. After all, such women are already independent and adults. Some of them could not realize themselves in motherhood, while others have grown up children and do not need their care. In this case, a young man can act as a child.

This type of marriage is considered complimentary. This name comes from the French word complementaire, which means “to complement”. Relations between spouses in such a marriage are built in the form of "parent-child". In other words, a woman in such a relationship performs parental functions.

What are the causes of such marriages? They lie in the structure of the personality of the husband and wife. As a rule, these are people who are dependent on relationships and have unmet needs for affection and parental love.

Risk factors

If an unequal marriage is concluded and a woman is 10 years older than her partner, then psychologists say that such an age difference makes such a union more vulnerable. Of course, real feelings can arise between people. But it is known that all ages are submissive to love. However, not all the most romantic, passionate and vibrant relationships can pass the test of truth. Some of them are destroyed under the influence of everyday life, others are defenseless against the inexorably current time, the third have irreconcilable contradictions, and the fourth cannot withstand the difficulties that come with the advent of a child. At the same time, psychologists are of the opinion that in families in which the spouse is younger than their soulmate, the chances of a happy existence decrease with an increase in the age difference between husband and wife.

Of course, marriages between peers are not immune from trials. And this is confirmed by the current divorce statistics. However, in those unions where the age difference is expressed not in favor of the man, there are many additional risk factors.

wife leadership

Is it worth building a relationship with a woman 10 years older? Many young men are attracted to such ladies by self-confidence, independence and independence. But it should be borne in mind that these qualities are far from always a positive side for family life. In a house where matriarchy reigns, a man unwittingly plays secondary roles. Of course, for the time being, this may well suit him. However, after the spouse feels mature enough and self-sufficient, conflicts will certainly arise.

There is another point that is connected with children. If the mother is 10 years older than the father and controls him, then the child will certainly feel the fall of the father's authority. Naturally, this will definitely affect his relationship with him. At the same time, the self-esteem of a man as a father will also suffer.

Unequal Roles

Sometimes, when a woman is 10 years older than a man, she begins to overprotect and teach her husband. And sometimes a wife tries to become a favorite "girl" for her lover. In this case, the relationship becomes invalid and cannot be harmonious. So, if a woman communicates with a young spouse like a mother, then in return from his side she receives devotion and respect. In such a situation, the spouse does not seek to have children, because her husband plays the role of the child. Helping in the formation of her own "I", the wife most often forgets about her interests and about her life. She focuses so much on the desires and feelings of her husband that she ceases to understand her desires and feelings.

According to psychologists, such a risk can be avoided. But at the same time, a woman should not talk to her lover as if she were a small child. She should not explicitly emphasize the difference in age, as well as her wisdom, success, experience, stress resistance, and life experience. After all, husband and wife are first and foremost partners. And ideally, they should communicate as equals, based on the “adult-adult” model. And this should apply to all aspects of life.

difference in interests

If a woman is 10 years older, the compatibility of spouses is sometimes called into question due to the fact that they are not representatives of the same generation. So, a young husband may like noisy companies, where he will strive with all his heart. The wife will like quiet evenings and home comfort.

Or she prefers theater, and he loves computer games, etc. If there are no common interests, then such a fact will certainly make the difference in age even more tangible. In this case, there is a high probability of significant disagreements between spouses.

relationship to parenting

As a rule, a man matures much later for fatherhood than a woman for motherhood. And if the wife is 10 years older than her husband, then this problem is even more aggravated. A mature woman has an urgent need to become a mother and give birth to a child. But the future father, most likely, believes that he still needs to "live for himself", that he is "not ready" or "did not get on his feet."

Well, if a child does appear, then a man who is used to the tender care of his beloved suddenly discovers that he lacks attention. This fact is a classic cause of intra-family conflicts.

Children from previous marriages

If the wife in the family is older than her husband, then she most likely already has experience in building marital relations. Most likely, she already has children. Of course, this situation is quite common. However, such a child, even without suspecting it himself, is a kind of catalyst for marital relations. And if there are hidden problems in the relationship of the newlyweds, they will certainly discover and exacerbate them. Often, the presence of a child separates two people who wholeheartedly want to be together, but are not able to work together to overcome the difficulties that have arisen.

Women's complexes

According to psychologists, a woman who has married a man much younger than herself seeks to increase her self-esteem. And this is quite natural. After all, it is unlikely that a spouse who is not self-confident will be a good wife. She will begin to suspect a man of infidelity, will begin to demand any evidence of the sincerity of his feelings. In addition, her grievances will arise literally out of the blue. However, not all women are able to remain self-confident at the moment when they begin to show signs of aging, and the husband enters the heyday of attractiveness. It is also sad that many young spouses, over time, suddenly begin to realize that their marriage was unsuccessful and “trial”.

School of Life

It has long been established that partners who live together become very similar to each other over time, not only in character, but also in appearance. At the same time, because of his age, the young spouse is waiting for big changes than his soulmate. A man will make every effort to grow up to the level of his betrothed. The woman will certainly help him in this, passing on her life experience, as well as the wisdom that has already come over the years. She constantly pushes and inspires her beloved to new achievements, while protecting and supporting him. Without wives who play the role of an older friend, such men feel lonely. Psychologists note that it is in such pairs that the partner quickly achieves self-confidence, achieving positive results in the emotional state, as well as in climbing the career ladder.

The role of the young spouse is also important. He brings romance to family relationships, and also introduces his wife to modern trends, for example, those related to computer technology. Due to his age, such a husband will not limit the actions of a woman, as well as instruct or reproach her. The wife will appreciate it very much. With such a husband, she will certainly feel self-confident, more free.

Based on this, it can be argued that a marriage in which a woman is 10 years older than a man is beneficial to both. The wife supports and "grows" her beloved, cultivating useful qualities in him and helping to get on his feet. For a woman, such a marriage is good because her life becomes filled with meaning. It increases self-esteem through a sense of self-importance. Being near a young man, she feels more confident, joyful, young and free.

How to achieve harmony?

Many psychologists are familiar with the mood of women who are married to young men. From the very beginning of the relationship, such ladies begin to tune in to the fact that their union will certainly fall apart. Women are more than sure that they have only a few years of family happiness ahead of them. And they agree to it. However, psychologists warn that such an attitude can lead to underlying self-doubt. In this case, the woman will begin to get nervous, feel powerless, or become depressed. The reason for all these states is the fear of losing the betrothed, which can cause the spouse to make rather serious mistakes. Psychologists recommend never reminding a man that he is younger. In addition, the spouse should not give vent to her jealousy. Indeed, in this case, her partner will feel like a puppy who is kept on a short leash. The absence of external negative emotions will allow you to maintain love and respect in the family.

Often a woman on a subconscious level tunes in to an inevitable divorce, believing that it simply cannot be otherwise. Psychologists in this case recommend remembering that a person’s thoughts are material. That is why they recommend giving a slightly different setup, which will be more optimistic. Of course, relationships in marriage will certainly develop, consistently passing through various stages. They just can't be perfect all the time. The transition from one stage to another is accompanied by a series of crises. And this is a common thing for any relationship and couples, regardless of the age of the spouses. Of course, age difference can be a problem. However, it is the same for those families where the wife is older than the husband, and for those where she is younger than him.

Psychologists believe that you should not give up on relationships that are believed to have no future. There is no single recipe for making decisions about whether or not to be such a marriage. Everything will depend on the specific case. After all, all ages are submissive to love. This feeling is not subject to any rules, and for it there are no boundaries. If a woman wants to be desired and loved and knows how to achieve this, then she will certainly save her family. After all, unions created on sincere and mutual feelings cannot be hindered by any restrictions. Each couple has its own formula of love and ideal relationships, which allows them to be together. But if this is not the case, then the age difference, which is significant, will only hasten the separation.